Estes

On Saturday, Sara, Julie and I went hiking in the Rockies at Estes. Although the fog and snow was blocking the view, it was still beautiful. We literally couldn't see over the cliff when we got to the highest driving point. We drove back down and that was kinda scary. No guardrails, icy roads and the cliff is steep as death. Julie's tires are pretty bald so that probably wasn't the best idea but it was worth the adventure (I say as I'm still breathing).

We hiked to Cub Lake and it was a perfect hike. Flat for the first half mile and then the incline was pretty steady. We could have used snowshoes because thet trail hadn't been used much, but we made it with yaktrax just fine. The trail looked like a winter wonderland. It was beautiful. So much snow on the ground and coming down as we hiked. It was great. I really like being active and going out and doing things like that. I feel alive. I feel free. One thing I have noticed though, every hike we've taken since I've been here it's been harder to get the "clear headed" feeling. Our first few hikes it was awesome, I didn't think about a thing. But these last few hikes have been less "relaxing" and I don't think I've been able to fully enjoy them.

I'm feeling really uneasy about tomorrow. I head to the airport in the morning and I've had a sick feeling in my stomach all day. I couldn't sleep last night. Sara asked me today, "Are you just feeling uneasy about the transition? Leaving here? Or is it more about going there and all the things you have to face?" It's honestly a combination of all of the above. I'm sorta frustrated with myself that I can't seem to feel okay, ever.