We only do what we want to do...

There are several things that I could write about now, but I'll stick to the most recent and pervading thought in my mind (as of yesterday mind you...whoever you are).

I was talking with two very important people in my life on skype yesterday and towards the end of the conversation it came around to talking about healthy boundaries and healthy space in a particular relationship in my life. I agreed with what they were saying, knowing that would be best and then I said, "I know...I just need to actually do it." They replied with, "We only do what we want to do...no one does what they don't really want to do." I couldn't nod in agreement, I really didn't know how to react. Am I really doing something that I truly want to do? Do I really want to continue down this path in this relationship? Was he saying that I will never do anything that I do not want to do? I'm not so sure. These thoughts and questions have been floating in my mind ever since it was said, even keeping me awake at night. Have I always done what I wanted to do? I know there have been times in my life where I have done something and been thinking, "I don't want to do this...but I'm doing it." How does something like that fit in?

Maybe I could say the same thing in the context of this relationship situation. "I don't want to do this...but I'm doing it." Whether that means I'm continuing down this unhealthy-for-me road or whether I attempt to set and stick to boundaries...that phrase could be said. And once again begs the penetrating question, "What do I want?"