Departing to Denver

So, tomorrow morning (well, today now) I will be headed to the airport to catch my flight to Denver. I have mixed feelings about it and I'm not exactly sure why. As I was packing my bag and crossing off my lists of the day I realized how torn I was feeling about leaving for the month. I'm excited, sad, afraid, nervous, happy and unsure all at the same time it seems. I was talking to one of my best friends today and I told her that I think part of the reason I'm feeling this uneasiness is because I'm starting to figure out why I leave all the time, why I always feel this intense pull (or push) to be going somewhere. I keep moving because when I'm going somewhere, I don't have to think about all of the "stuff" and I don't have to worry about the dust settling in my soul. But I think I'm to the point where the time between landing somewhere and the dust settling is becoming shorter and shorter.

I think God's got something to say to me.

Not sure if I want to hear it. Maybe it's waiting for me there, maybe it's not. Maybe this timidity is stemming from somewhere else. I feel like I'm just waiting for this big smack in the face or something and I can't really explain it. I probably sound a little crazy but it all makes some sense in my head at least. Am I over analyzing? Am I putting too much into this and not keeping it simple enough? Is this a stirring of some kind? I'm not sure.

I'll wake up in the morning, give myself a pep talk and walk out the door (once again) with my backpack on my back and duffel on my shoulder. I'll look out and face the world that awaits me there.