Chiastic Structure

So, last night Julie and I went to hang out with some friends in Loveland and we ended up watching an hour-long sermon together. It was on the book of Esther, which I know absolutely nothing about. One of the main points (actually, the only thing I really remember from the sermon) was that the book of Esther has elements of chiastic structure which is basically saying something in reverse order to make a point. Or like, placed in a special symmetrical order or pattern. Anyway, she was giving examples like, "Not live to eat, but eat to live" or JFK's, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country." She was rattling off examples and she's explaining the whole idea an then she was spewing out more unnecessary examples (we already got the idea by this point) and she said, "I'm not scared to fight, I fight because I'm scared."

It hit me. 

Something inside just said, "That's you." I keep going back to that thought. Is it really me though? I know I'm a fighter, but isn't it because I've had to be? I've learned to be? I mean, I guess deep down I feel afraid a lot...but I throw it down so well that I've almost got myself fooled. Does that even make sense? What am I fighting? Myself? God? My past? Emotion? What is it now? What was it then? I'm not even sure that I really want to know the answer to my own questions.